First let me say--things have been pretty heavy around here, so just know that this is a happy story-- a good story. So hang in there with me.
I’ve shared that I underwent a season of intense anxiety and panic attacks this past spring. I’m gonna be straight up with you: it sucked. But I really really wouldn’t trade it. I wouldn’t go back and change any of it if I could. I learned so much about God and myself. I experienced more intimacy and authenticity in my spiritual life, my marriage, my friendships, and my my church than I ever could have imagined was possible.
At my lowest, most crumpled up, the same thing kept swirling around my head. An image of a mom who was absent and sickly and weak, a mom who was completely unreliable, a mom who couldn’t help herself or anyone else. I felt like darkness had swallowed me up and my kids and husband were paying the price. They couldn’t depend on me. Could they feel the darkness I felt? Read More
Happy Sunday. If you've been around long enough you know that my husband is in full time worship ministry. So some aspects of our Sundays are unique and tiring because of our jobs. I've learned from some wise and Lord-loving women over our years in ministry that, like any job, there are both difficulties and blessings, but when given the chance...dwell on the good stuff. Read More
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“For being so jacked up.” Read More
As I sat sipping my coffee on the outrageously picturesque deck of the house we vacationed at in the mountains of Colorado, I knew one day I would tell the whole story of this amazing trip. With each perfect snapshot I posted online, I wanted to zoom out, not in in the span of my photo but in the reality of my life....The whole truth is that we had an opportunity to go on an amazing vacation for a week without our kids to meet up with some of our best friends from across the country and it was glorious, but it was a painful road. Read More
You can stop now. Stop the striving. Stop the planning. Stop the strategizing and the squeezing things in. You can say no. You don't have to prove you're strong and reliable, not even to yourself. Can I tell you a really scary truth? Read More
It's a funky time for women's Christian culture isn't it? It seems like everyone is building a platform and social media followers and blogs, podcasts, ebooks, books, handmade things, and hustling galore.
Well I'm done. Read More
Did God make a way for the Israelites to escape their bondage? Absolutely. Is that all he did? Nope. Was freedom the end game? No again. Read More
You are here. Right now.
If I’m being really truly honest, here isn't a place I'm enjoying…and I know it’s kind of icky to read a mom say that…it’s icky to be the mom who feels it. Oh wouldn’t I love to be floating on cloud of motherly contentment with this season! But this season of motherhood is just hard and so tiring. Wouldn’t it be delightful if enchantment for every single season of life just naturally swelled in us and flowed out of us? Instead, I’ve been fighting, sometimes spitting mad, against this season and I’m exhausted…so I’m done. I’m done fighting it. I’m here. Here is where I am right now, today.
Accepting this basic condition of my reality means admitting an ugly truth to myself and even more so to the Giver of Life. Facing the nasty brass tacks of my sinfulness, yet again, I found mercy and grace on the other side. And that brings me here, to all of you, because I have this little inkling that maybe…just maybe I’m not the only one digging my heels in and demanding to be somewhere else past or future but this present place just isn’t my cup of tea. Read More
Although for the country as a whole 2016 was a big ole bummer, for our family it was really amazing. But there was something missing all year. Read More